How do you deal with grief and overcome the death of a loved one?

Experts say that the best way to face this feeling is to experience the pain, anguish, and emotional reactions.

There is no recipe for dealing with death: keeping happy memories about your loved one eases the pain.

The fight can be described as a feeling of sadness and grief caused by the loss of someone or something precious and loved. This natural process that sooner or later, everyone experiences has emotional consequences that need to be understood and overcome. After all, it is not easy to deal with the anguish and longing for the absence of a loved one.

The possibility of talking about feelings, and exposing thoughts about death helps in emotional integration, making the grieving person reorganize themselves internally in the face of this loss. “The help and emotional support of family and friends, as well as a belief or religion in which the person believes, are also important and positive factors in the way of dealing with this delicate process,” explains Aline Cristina de Melo, a psychologist at Hospital e Maternidade Saint Cristopher. 

Grief stages

The grieving process itself consists of five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. “Initially, it is customary to present a temporary defense manifested through denial. At this moment, death is inconceivable and difficult to believe. Another common reaction is anger, where the individual comes into contact with the loss revolt. At this time, the person appears more skittish in the face of any reception and intervention”, analyzes Aline Melo.

One of the most recognized reactions to grief is the depressive state, when death triggers an avalanche of bad feelings and which often destabilizes the individual. “And finally, we can also mention the stage of acceptance, when the person enters a more balanced state, managing to understand reality in a more conscious and calm way,” he reiterates.

But it is important to note that there is no time or exact order to go through each of these stages, and this varies from person to person. To deal with a death of a loved one, it is essential to demonstrate feelings, be it sadness, anger, and even denial. 

Facing death

In some circumstances, grief is experienced in advance, as in the case of a terminally ill patient. Unexpected deaths have a different impact, but they trigger the same process. In all cases, there is suffering and the search for understanding the loss.

Therefore, it is often difficult to live with someone in mourning, at home, or at work, since this moment of sadness also generates anguish in the people around. “The best thing we can do in front of someone who has lost a loved one is to offer our welcome, affection, and respect, establishing a supportive relationship for that person,” says Aline. 

The same goes for the work environment, especially the understanding of superiors. “It is important to know the mourner’s need to return to their daily activities and how positive it can be in their recovery,” adds the psychologist. 

How to deal with loss daily?

Be aware that the period of mourning needs to be lived and faced, with the welcoming of family and friends;

Recognize that each person reacts to grief and time to experience it. That is, it is necessary to respect and understand your own time;

Seek strength in positive and joyful aspects

Talking about what you feel and what happened will not cause the sadness to be enhanced, but diluted and integrated through conversation;

Maintain daily activities and seek to occupy thinking

No one and neither will time forget the person who died, but it will help to manage and learn to deal with the lack. If the process is challenging to face, seek help from a psychologist.